A Crazy Stupid Dream

When i was in deep sleep after late Friday night party, i saw this dream which was unnatural, imaginary, fictional and of-course a stupid dream at around 5:10 AM in the morning which scared shit out of me. 

Dream: 

It was evening in my village. Me and my brother Sagar was walking towards our rice mill to meet my other brother Roshan. I suddenly saw a moving shadow image of a herd with more than 50 elephants  walking in a line on a hill few miles outside our village. It was getting dark in the evening. It was not so clear where they were heading. But it looked like they were heading towards our village. Then i saw images of rhinos, tigers attacking wild buffaloes. There were zebras and giraffes too. I was stunned and my blood went cold. I stood there like a sculpture watching them getting down the hill and walking towards our village. Sagar was walking ahead of me and I was behind. He was talking something, thinking that i am following him and listening. But i was not and he didn't notice me trailing back. I called him and showed him the nerve-racking scene. He was like "What the F**K?". We had only few minutes to react. We got into a nearby 2 storey house which was empty. I rushed to the roof top and told Sagar who was following my steps to close the main door of the house. As soon as i reached the roof top, i called up my brother Roshan and told him get into a safe place preferably into our rice which has solid walls and iron doors. He said he is in our farm and it will take few minutes to reach our rice mill. I told him to forget all the work and rush to rice mill along with our workers and lock the doors from inside. I didn't want to take chances. You never know what monkeys can do. I have seen in movies. Monkeys can open the locks. So i insisted him not to lock the doors of our ricemill from outside. Then i called up my pregnant wife Pooja who was at our house in our village along with my dad, mom and grandma. I told her this freaking story. I told her to lock all the doors in our house, take our people and get into our room on the roof top. By the time i finished calling our people, animals had attacked our village. Me and Sagar were frightened to see animals killing people. It was a blood-curdling episode. After few moments, i heard a roaring echo of cheatahs from inside the house we were taking shelter. I rechecked with Sagar if he has locked the main door in the ground floor. His face told me that he didn't. I immediately reacted and was getting down to lock atleast doors of first floor so that i can stop them coming up to the roof top. But i was late. They had already reached the floor and they climbing steps which would bring them to the roof top. In few seconds they were standing in front of us. One was black jaguar which was staring at Sagar. Other was brown cheetah with black spots on it, standing behind the black cat and was interested in me. I thought of jumping out from the roof to the ground taking Sagar along with me. But there were tigers, lions and elephants killing whoever they see. I thought ours was much better state. There were only two cats. But i was wrong. Before we react, black one attacked Sagar and in one shot it grabbed his neck. That was the maximum you can take in a dream. Watching one wild cat killing your own brother. That is the horrifying moment which will wake you up from the dream. I woke up from the dream sweating. My tee was wet around my neck. I had few glasses of water and thanked god it was just a dream. It was around 5:30 in the morning. I tried to get back to sleep, but i could not. Got freshen up and went for a walk.

Hell of a dream, right? Yes, it was. But it was stupid too. Because, there are no hills around which we could see from our village. Grandma i saw in my dream is no more with us. She passed away two years back. Pooja is no more pregnant. She gave birth to a girl two weeks back. And there are no multi storey buildings on the way to our rice mill in our village.

This is not the first time am experiencing this. Few months before, i saw a dream where i was hiding in a shed while four tigers attacking my aunt in my grandpa farm and i was scared and calling her loudly to get back to the shed but she didn't. I got up sweating on my bed, when a tiger grabbed her neck. As soon as i got up, i woke up my wife and told her the story. She acted like she can feel what i saw for few minutes and went back to sleep. I keep seeing these kind of dreams very often and the worst part is i can remember my dreams in the morning. I can recollect and tell what i saw in my dream to people. Many laugh and forget. Few sit back and discuss on that. I might need to visit a psychiatrist again (on a lighter note). I told this to my mom. She was worried. She thought for a moment and told me that may be am getting these dreams as am a nature lover and green activist. I love animals and i am worried about forests encroachment. 

Probably its a sign to me. May be nature is telling me its time to act on it. May be i should join green activists who are already fighting to save forests and wild life and work with them closely.

With Love,

RaDa

I never had a clue 😊

You stepped into my Life,

As my loving wife.

I never had a clue, 

that we would stick together like a glue

There were ups and downs since two years,

the love we showed to each other was very clear

Many times i was more rough on you,

i just wanted the best to happen for you

I wanted you to take more responsibilities,

i know its just matter of time you will gain all abilities

Am lucky to have you as my better half,

Am ready to swallow all sorrows on your behalf

I promise our future would be marvelous,

Looking at us even people in heaven should feel jealous

You have no idea how much i love you,

I can catch a grenade for you :) (This line copied from a song)

With Love,

RaDa 

One is born, Rest are reborn

18-OCT-2015 13:58 PM IST
Pooja was in labor ward giving birth to our baby. I was finding words to give birth to this blog.

As per my wife Pooja's desire, we hosted a wonderful dinner to our family at her dad's place on Friday evening 16, Oct 2015. She loves to be  center of attention and thoroughly attended by people during this entire phase of her pregnancy. She was due on 24, Oct 2015 and only few days to count, who would dare to say 'NO' to her wishes. She knew it and she was brilliantly en-cashing it. Right now, nothing is more important than keeping Pooja and baby happy, safe and content. Everything else has been blurred and has become immaterial, inconsequential, inconsiderable, indifferent, insignificant and irrelevant. 

She was due for few routine tests and scans on Saturday, 17 Oct 2015. So we started the day early in the morning by watching Salman's movie "Bajarangi Bai Jaan", which relaxed her a bit. After running tests and scans till noon, Doctors were alarmed by insufficient fluid in her womb or uterus but said nothing to worry at this stage. But that "Nothing to worry" statement is unavoidable trigger for many other worries. After running repeated tests, doctors were reluctant to wait till due date and advised us to immediately admit her to labor ward to keep her under observations for a day. We just followed doctor advice and got her admitted. 

Pooja was calm and relaxed as she had one full week to enjoy her pregnancy. With these recent quick developments, she got scared and was worried and started crying. She looked like cutest baby is crying to give birth to another baby. We got confidence when we evidenced Doctor consoling Pooja like we console school kid who was scared of her exams. Best gift what Pooja has is - she looks wonderful and cute all time and in all forms of emotions. Day, noon, night, sad, happy, angry, hatred.  You name any type of feeling, her face has the capability to maintain same level of beauty and innocence. Especially in the early morning sleeps, her face seems like sunlight trying to hide behind a sheet of morning mist. 

Doctor said to Pooja "Hey Pooja, Are you scared? Why are you worried? You are now on right hands and in right hospital. You will be under constant observation of best staff. Are you not happy and excited to finally see your baby? Did you not wait for nine long months for this?".

This comforted her. Pooja just nodded with a blink smile on her face. I was happy the way doctor is handling her emotions.
Doctor continued to Pooja "Do you want to keep your baby inside forever? Where do you find schools inside your womb?". We all laughed at it. Doc said "It was supposed to happen anyway in a week. We are just preponing the delivery for the good of mom and baby. So stop worrying and stay happy and enjoy the process". Pooja agreed and gave a broad smile this time. 


Doctor took me to her room and explained the process, options, risks and possibilities. I trusted her. I just left it her to best of her knowledge to take decisions. Then doctor said this wonderful thing to me "Look Rahul, If I get an opportunity to make a wish to God, then I will make two wishes. First I will ask God to keep only boys on the earth and take out all the girls. I cannot see girls through this emotional and physical suffering. If God doesn't agree to that, then I will ask him to keep only one type of delivery process in the world. Either Normal delivery or C-section. It's very hard and tiring process for both doctors and guardians to decide. I hope you understand what am saying. All the best. You both are going to be good parents". I vaguely smiled and nodded. I have understood more than what she said. I wished her good luck and left her room. I informed the same to our parents. 

She was kept under observation for a night. There was nothing much we can do but waiting till morning of Sunday, 18 Oct 2015. Of course, except for taking selfies whenever Pooja came out to meet us. That would cheer her up. I gave her a personality development book to read and provide last minute training to the baby to prepare itself before it's gonna see our world :) :) Last minute tips and notes has always helped me to perform better in main exams/interviews. Me and my brother stayed back at hospital. I spent night updating this news to our friends and well wishers. Excitement bar raised and reached a all new level. 
We got a chance to talk to Pooja twice in the morning, before staff started inducing pain in her through medicines. By 10:30 AM, she slowly picked up the pain. Doctors were informed. Ward room was reserved. Prayers and wishes started pouring for Pooja. I kept updating on the status to people in Whatsapp groups. By around 11:30 AM, Doctor came said she is hopeful for the normal delivery and would wait till 3:00 PM. If Pooja doesn't get expected amount of pain till then, then Doctor said she don't want to take risks and she would opt for cesarean. We agreed. Tension in me started raising. I started picturing Pooja enduring this pain process. That was the tiniest hole of weakness it was looking for. Once the hole is found, all kind of emotions kept breaking inside me just like water breaks out when gates were open in the dam. I went for a long walk and regained control and stayed positive. Just to keep myself busy I started writing this blog. 

We got a chance to meet Pooja and talked to her for a minute at around 12:20 PM. She said she is getting back pain not labor pain. She looked tired. We were worried again. Contrary to other operations, in this case pain is positive sign. Person should not feel comfortable. She should get and endure severe labor pain. So we waited with our fingers crossed.


Bulk of patience she posed, 38 weeks of waiting, tens of medical consultations, exposing to tests and scans, abundance of love and loads of care she spent has finally bearing a fruit today. In fact a healthy fruit with full of life. I had to take a soulful journey to redefine myself  before i see this fruit. Our home was deserted without kids since more than two decades. Last memory I have is of my brother Roshan playing around when he was kid. 

We had few hours more to kill. I had a quick lunch in hospital canteen. Came back to labor ward and sent our parents to have lunch. At 01:30 PM, a labor staff came out and congratulated me. "Congratulations sir, it's a baby girl". I was grandly surprised and was hard to believe. I told her "Are you sure? I might have been mistaken. Am husband of Pooja. We were expecting after 03:00 PM". She said "Yes sir. But Pooja got labor early than expected and she gave birth to a baby girl. It was normal delivery. Congratulations again". I knew she was telling truth. Surprise was heavy to digest. Pooja's grandma joined me. One more staff and Doctor brought our baby out of labor ward. I tried to hold the baby. But I couldn't. My hand were shivering out of excitement. My eyes were filled. I just thanked our doctor and staff and came out to inform our parents and well wishers.

Now a ray of light has arrived from the sky. She has the power to transform anything and everything. She can heal hearts to remove hatred and will fill happiness and love. She has given rebirth to all of us and will take us back to our childhood. We have to recall and relearn all the forgotten naughtiness, games, poems, rhymes, gifts and toys. Our home will be filled with joy and peace. Green around our home will welcome this little queen. 

One is born, rest are reborn.

With Love,
RaDa

A Train Friend

Someone asked me "Why do you keep writing blogs, when a very few people follow it?". That's the question i kept asking myself over years. Writing was never my medium. I was only a vigorous reader. News Paper, Magazines, Novels. Reading was the only way i could pass time and get some knowledge on social factors during my school and college days. At that time parents were living away from us. Emotions were running high. There were very few people i could share my feelings and thoughts. But something barred me from sharing sad stories. I always wanted to share lighter stories and make people laugh and keep them happy. I asked myself "What do i do with sad feelings and thoughts? If i keep it inside. It will burn and swallow me in no time.". One of my teacher told me to try writing personal dairy and share my thoughts. Initially i started writing in Kannada. After my engineering, when i got a job, my English was very bad. I believe it still is. My beloved friend Manish alias Matter encouraged me to write in English. Eventually he later quit IT and became a journalist. After some time, i stopped writing diary but started writing blogs. Even today i try to maintain my emotion quotient in my writing. Only few will catch that.


Anyways. That's how i started writing blogs. You might be wondering the episode i told till now is not complementing the post name "A Train Friend". Yes, you are absolutely right. So lets not waste time. 

It was on 13-Aug-2015 evening 6:30 PM, i boarded a train in railway station of Birur,

Chikmagalur District. I was traveling back from a life changing journey. I was tired after marathon walk of 40 days covering few hundred miles from Dharwad to Birur. And i was excited that am coming back home. Train left the station on time. I had few hours to kill. So i started reading a book. A few minutes after train left station, a family came to our bogie searching for place to sit. Father, Mother and their Son. As it was a weekday, there were many empty seats in our chair car. They settled in 2 rows behind me. I saw them settling down. They looked very familiar. After scratching my head for some time, i  found that they lived in our street sometime back. 2 house next to us. But i never spoke to them. They remained strangers to me. 

But this time, i was coming back from a jorney which had tripped me. I lived with complete strangers for 40 days. I had learnt to talk even to stones.  I called that boy and said "Hi". He was totally puzzled. I told him that we lived in the same street. We introduced ourselves. His name was Ganesh. A graduate in literature, aspiring to be a public servant. Very humble and gentle. His literature background propelled me to share my journey experience and read few parts of the book i wrote in my journey. I was very tensed and eager to know his reaction. Because he was the first person outside my family to read my writing. Initially he had doubts, but when i started sharing experiences for each chunk of my writing. He said he is very much convinced. He was so much convinced, he even shared few contacts in literature who can review and critic my book. I was very thrilled that i met this person. Our discussion traveled across many topics in that 4 hours journey till we reached Mysore. I wondered he was the same neighbor whom i ignored to communicate for more than an year. I was enthralled to encounter the very evident change that journey had brought in me. 

What is more fascinating about travelling in public transport is, it throws immense opportunities to meet strangers and many times they become friends. It will dissolve any inferiority left over in us. We see people from so many different shades of life, it gradually keeps our ego at bay. It forces equality. It promotes integrity. Most importantly, travelling in public transport keeps check on traffic congestion and pollution. It's more eco-friendly. People should understand this.

Few weeks later when i finished typing my book, i chose the person whom i met in the train to read, review and share his opinion and suggestions. I wanted to let him know about this but i became busy with other things. Few days later, a super coincidence happened. On 05-Oct-2015, i was travelling in a train to Chitradurga to attend an opening ceremony of a meditation  center. I just happened to remember him in the train and called him to request to review my book. To my surprise, he was travelling in the very same train. I was like what the hell? That too he was sleeping just few seats next to mine. I was delighted to experience this serendipity. We laughed and shared the same excitement of this coincidence.  That was only our second meet. Comfort level was so high that he shared few of his personal things too. He was very cheerful and agreed to review my book. I was very fortunate to hear that. 

This might look so ordinary incident to you guys. But these type of coincidences brings so many questions to me. How our mind works? How our universe works? Is there a science which can explain this. There is one more repeated attention which has confused me. Since many years, i have very frequently seen this same number 4:20. It might be time in my computer/watch or vehicle registration number. Initially i ignored that as a coincidence.  But later 4:20 crossed my eyes thousands of times. It's so funny, but many times i was worried if god was telling me that am one of the 4:20 guys. That questioned my credibility. :D :D :D

The reason i highlighted the guy i met in train, is the way a stranger can push your limits to achieve more. In my case, he was the first who was practically injected hope in my first book. 

I also experienced the other side of the coin today. Couple of our friends threw a surprise party to my wife. I thought of refreshing memories in our marriage so far. So i took her for a walk in our neighborhood, i sat in front of her on the ground and wrote a poem. As i was writing on our life, words came out quickly and naturally. When i read it in the party, it was emotional for many of us. I liked it myself. My wife uploaded few of party pics in facebook and one of our friend mentioned the poem in a comment on the album. One person from our family, who has been constantly making fun of anything i or my brother did, showed her sadistic part today on my poem. Words i used in the poem might look very ordinary and familiar. I agree i have limitations in English language. Am improving day by day. But she crossed her line today and accused me of copying from others. What can i say? The only thing i copied from her was, i became an engineer too. I hardly speak to that person. I can easily count number of times i spoke to her since my birth. I doubt her intentions were right this time.

Negative vibes are so bad. It is discouraging. Sometimes it is humiliating. Being a critic is an art. An art to push to improve oneself and others. If your intentions are right, you should guide, suggest, help and provide references and platform to rise. Otherwise you should shut your mouth and watch others doing that job.

With this blog i want to thank my train friend for positivity and hope he filled in me :) Thank you my friend.

With Love,
RaDa

Shall discuss over a coffee :)

These days am writing poems for everything. Happy, sad, party etc etc. I opened a real estate page in facebook for my friend. I happened to write a poem to endorse my page. And I liked it. Good job RaDa😊

Shall discuss over a coffee:

You ask for an agent, 

               we'll give you a friend.

You ask for a house,

               we'll give you a home.                                   
You name a place, 

               we'll find you a palace.                                   
It will not stop there,

               that's just your first gear.            
We  will get you loans,

               that's easy to bear.                            
We live in Mysore,

               you can find us in our lobby.

Give us a call, 

           we shall discuss over a coffee.

With Love,

RaDa

Tons of moments to cherish (A poem dedicated to Pooja)

Couple of  our friends gathered in a hotel to throw a surprise party to my wife Pooja. I wrote a poem on our journey so far and dedicated to Pooja. 

It's hell of a story to tell,

Tons of moments to cherish.

My life car was broke and was waiting for a jack,

You gave a lift, which brought my life back.

I was not going left, I was not going right,

I was literally blind, till you shed some light.

My mom always needed a daughter,

You filled that place with a loads of laughter.

You carried your role with so much passion,

How you handled with such a ease is my biggest question.

I was silent and I was quite,

With your presence, am now a flying kite.

Friends, colleagues, room mates and couples,

We were everything without much troubles.

I left house in urge of finding truth,

It was like tasteless chewing, without my tooth.

It was your love I missed the most,

Now am back, we should raise a toast.

Eight months before we sowed a life seed,

Am amazed and happy to see its growing speed.

We are gonna be mom n dad in few weeks,

We will celebrate now like country freaks.

With Love,

RaDa